The thing about concerns..

Dear readers,

Very recently many things have changed. I don't work for a tyre company anymore, I work in the agriculture business. Huge change. Tough decision. In early 2011 I did what I never thought I would do..I quit my job.

That shall always remain monumental to me. Shifting from the comfort of knowing what to expect to " ohhh God did I make the right choice?". Concerns normally surface, mostly they are based on financial reasons. You know, the how do you pay for this now, the bills and and and. Then it occurred to me how easily we are bounded by this chain of materialistic dependency.

For example, ok so you still are servicing a high loan for that fancy car you bought, but you can sell it and buy a smaller car just to get by. You don't need Astro cause its just repeating the shows anyway and plus you can just go to the nearest internet cafe and spend not more than 5 bucks to spend more than enough time to watch your shows on Youtube. You might, have trouble when it comes with the house rent or monthly installments, but nothing that a discussion with a bank of default forwarded payments can't handle.

In short, there are temporary solutions. Yes, you have to get up on your ass and find a job after that and yes that might not be easy. But you can start a business. Go to a bank and ask for a loan to start an enterprise. Maybe. The options are endless. The point is there are options and they come with risks. But what is the point is also that your comfortable 9-5 job you so take for granted of having now will always be at risk. And nothing is written in stone that you will live life as is forever.

And thus here I am. Yes I got a new job. I don't know what its all about but time and effort and hopefully hard work will help remedy that. So, we move on.

Thus the thing about concerns is...its nice to ponder on it, waffle on it, sleep on it, make gracious love on it if you want but then just take an action on it. And look not back but the future. On that point comes as well our concerns..2012. Will the end of the world come? Would Israel wage war on Iran? Would we go through another huge depression? Is the dollar stable? Would I get married? Is my health ok? I say lets build on factors we can influence and just do it. And here is a list:

1) If the world ends 2012 - Decide to live or die? To live, study what are potential forms of the earth's destruction and figure out best survival measures. If it means going to Tibet, to higher ground or build a ship then do it. Or if well, accept death then just maintain status qou.

2) Would there be a world nuclear war? - Maybe, if so build a survival bunker.

3) Would there be a financial depression? - If so, start saving and learn to cook. Cause selling food is always good business regardless.

4) Is the USD gonna stay up/down - Maybe not then start buying tangible things that can be used for barter trade later like gold.

5) Would I get married? - Maybe not but doesn't mean you can't build a life that does matters to someone, join charity. If its getting laid/sex is of your concerns than, depends on your religious views, there are available options...hehe won't suggest here..go figure.

6) Is my health ok? - Maybe not, than take small steps to improve, change your diet, stop smoking and drinking too much alcohol and and.

These are just examples and are ment to highlight the fact that life is about choices we make and not PhDs or Nobel prizes. Thus live life people. Live it to the fullest. Concern yourself not of what can't be done, and lets embrace what can be done...

The thing about time...it does heal

Hey ya'll. Hows it going.

Been along time since I started to write again. Haha but I have sooooo many stories to tell I tell ya. Banyak giler k. But donno where to start. Ok lets do this. I will be outstation tis whole January. Will be in Wutha-Faroda. So will try get a solid story through guys.

Till then, I wish to officially announce.....I AM BACKKKKKKKK

Time to move on...

Dear Friends, Bloggers, The world,

Its getting harder and harder to update now. I know its lame to say, I'm busy, a lot of stuff lah to do and what not..but, thats it I guess. Some can just feel content in knowing that they have updated their blog with something. Nope. Not me. An update should be monumental. Thats just me I guess.

Ok, updates..I'm going through this dilemma. Ok, at this point people who know me will say, why talk about work Amad..again! Well hang on, hold your horses, whats wrong with being passionate with what you do? Ok, so I was offerred to take control of engineering. I was from engineering for 6 years ago, then was sent to production and now they want me to replace the current manager. Problem is..he is a friend.

Me and Francis. Good title for a movie ya. Francis and me go way back. He was my mentor and my boss when I started. Here's the thing, there is still sentiment in the plant that Malays know less and technically unsound on the technology/engineering stuff compared to the Chinese. Sad to say, its kinda true. But I decided to prove the masses wrong. I took every single abused lashed at me as an encouragement to do better. Those who know me then knew that my life was all work. This resilience started to take notice and Francis started to open to me by saying," ..one of these days I'll probably drop dead due to something.., its about time I teach someone what I know." Thats exactly what he did.

Francis was the first son of a char kuey teou peddler. He was taken in as an apprentice in 1977 and ascended to his current post as Plant Engineering Manager. He was involved in 90% of the commissioning of machines and technology training in this plant. He has also single handedly save the company 2.3 million with his developement of our own mixer controls and assisted Sumitomo industries in Japan for the developement of the now much acclaim RJS 7 PCR making machine, a best selling making machine from this manufacturer. You bet ya when he wanted to hand down his knowledge it was an honour. And I incurred the silent wrath and jealousy amongst colleagues as he never, I repeat never revealed his knowledge to anyone till I came.

The trainning was tough. Just like the kung fu movies, you need to crawl to get the knowledge. Biasalah chinamen style. After all the abuse, and even making me cry twice..I never gave up and sought to acquire as much knowledge as I could from Francis. Times past, I was known by my colleagues as Yang Mar - Dragonblood Malay. A name that harboured 2 meanings; one that i was not a typical malay and two that I was also like a vampire who sucked knowledge from the sifus. I was fine with it becouse the efforts were starting to show.

To put it simple, I wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for Francis. And the best thing was, we became really good friends. We hang out a lot after work. Talking about life, the hard times, Malay-chinese relationship, family values and all. I started to build a friendship that I thought could never be built. Then we seperated. Francis was assigned to take up half a project and I was promoted to take up the other half. So, from subordinate, now colleagues. The friendship never ended.

In particular, there was a time I was having a problem during commissioning. It lasted for nearly 40 hrs straight. It was then the chinese new year holiday. By chance he heard the problem from my technician who spoke to him by phone asking for advice. Francis called said if I needed help. I said no I'll handle things. That time we spoke was at 2.30am. However. Francis, without any professional obligation to be there, came at 3am. We went through the problem togather and had the machine up by 10am the next morning. I asked him why he came to help and he replied," I knew you must be in trouble and I came to help". It was his holiday. He had a family who needed him to drive them down to Penang the next morning. He just said, " Nah get my wife to drive maaaahh. At least now you can sleep kan?"

So, later I became a business unit manager and he took helm as Plant Engineering Manager. Thats when the problem came. Technical people are good at what they do but somehow, in the eyes of top management his management skills were perceived as insufficient. I do not know what people saw in my form of management but by the grace of Ar-Rahman I was blessed with results. So management put two-and-two togather and figured to try an engineering-based production business unit manager will be a good angle to try and shape the engineering since he has married the 2 core manufacturing functional teams into one.

But that wasn't the final reason. Unbeknowest to me, in Francis's personal file he cited my name as his immediate successor. And in his last employee dialog he mentioned again when ask of his succession, he said," I do not know of your plans for Amad..but I hope that you consider him as my replacement should something ever happens to me". Tis he answered the HR Director.

And the person to break the news to me was Francis himself. It was hard to take it in as I feared that maybe he was being lett-off. I rushed to meet the HR Director to get a final confirmation and he told me that I need to decide how to use Francis, and that if he stays.. he reports to me.

Francis..my friend. You have always been there for me and always had my back. And now I look blank on my org chart trying to make his function work..still staring.....but I think I found an angle.

So, as said, thus that is my monumental event so far. I will, I think, will not have time to update about my blog anymore. I'll still keep it on, just to flip through to read my ol post for nostalgia. Maybe update if the time permits and something does come up worth blogging about..maybe just to announce if i'm getting married hahaha. But the new job is tough.

I wanted to write about something else actually but thought why should we write about stuff emotionally and regret the consequences. What is said can never be taken back. And scars will heal but deep ones leave a mark. I guess the reason I thought, of all my other monumental updates, like falling in love-being dumped again, new found freindships with uni friends and the status of my social activities like salsa, the one most important was the realisation of a friendship lifecycle.

And like Francis..we do meet other people. Other important people that come into our lives. To stay on and keep a single friendship alive is a behemoth task, and many painfull roads down the way. And sometimes the ones that were once close to you..moved on. You know this when they cant have a decent conversation with you but keep asking about, 'ade girlfren ke tak?' After that..awkward silence..Sometimes the other half that pines for the friendship should realise the futile hope when the another moves on. And like Francis, and like Feizal and like Rambo and like..all the other important ones, old or new in our lives, a friend is one that above all puts others needs before their own. And the world still holds a portion of these people in population. I guess at this point we just say goodbye to the the old and cherish the ones that are relevent to us.

In conclusion, thank you my fellow bloggers for your supports, and honest comments. Thank you for even just reading the first 3 lines couse I know i can be overdramatic when writing. Thank you for being patient for the ones that actually took time to read through till the end, only realising that I lost the plot half-way at paragraph 3. And thank you for those whom have included me in their blogs to follow, I appologise if I had directly or indirectly hurt anyone along this course of blogging from my views or opinions or comments. To all, I wish you all the best. Goodbye...... Thank you.

Thank you...

Soundtracks....

I was checking out some blogs the other day and came across this young blogger, Hanis, who wrote about the song of her life. After reading through, it made me reflect towards the songs in my life. She ask her fellow bloggers to tell her what particular song were important to them. Thats when I realise that for myself, it was'nt just a song... but songs. And with that here are some collection of songs that for their reasons have left an impact in my 29 years of existance:

THE EARLY YEARS
Nursery rhymes. My favorite..Incy wincy spider. Reason being my late mother would like to geletek me with her fingers whislt singing this. It was so much fun..and back then mengeletek budak kecik as they call it was an incessant habit amongst the elders. Like lahh the elders had other better things to do. However, the point that I had this cute small dimple when I smiled did not help my relentless efforts to plead the elders to stop mengeletek either. Ahh aa but then..thats the best part of having a younger sibling..thou shall be mangsa seterusnye. Kesian Suraya...in my defence; Its Tradition!

FIRST MUSIC INFLUENCE
Back in primary I started to actually take interest in music at the age of 11 years. Back then Muzik Muzik was hip and trust me, before Astro created a storm with Akademi Fantasia, even before American/Malaysian Idol was dominating the media viewers..Juara Lagu was the Bomb. Who could not forget the clash of 1990 when Search's Isabella went head-to-head with Wings's Taman Rasyidah Utama. It was a close fight, with each band trying to outdo each other vocally, musically, style and ball-squeezing-butt-clenching leather pants and hair-curlers. It was amusing to see the more uncomfartable the pants looked, the more stable and higher the pitching of their voices. Alas it was Search's Issabella that triumphed and for the next couple of years nothing but.."Dia...Isabella, Lambang cinta yang nyata".

How influential was this song? Let me just say, sampai nenek-nenek dan makcik-makcik from 60 years till 80 years were even humming the song. Not to mention it was even a proud moment for parents at that time to showcase how their new child, at a timid age of probably 2/3 years, would sing the chorus to that song. It was a song so recognisable, so instantaneously acknowledge and had the longest airplay in M'sian history (then!). And for me..it was the first song I was able to play on the 1st string of a guitar.

YEAR OF THE RAPI do not know what possesed me at that point. But I gues thanks to radio shows like American Top 40 (on radio 4 then) it was the age of rap. Two very important things happened in the 90's , rap and Will Smith. The opening to fresh prince of bel air theme was more or less the catalyst to the generation at that time. The tv show was a much watched and popular show shown on TV3. It was considered un-hip to have not watch or missed a fresh prince episode. It was at this age that I had my first crush on a girl. And she liked rap music. Specifically vanilla ice. It was a competition amongst my classmates to see who could sing Ice Ice baby without making a mistake. And I remember that this period was also giving birth to the age of the baggy pants. God...what was I thinking!!!

IN MY OPINION ROCK SAVE ME

In my early teenage years, I started to take up guitar playing seriously. This led to me buying a lot of guitar magazines to grab hold of tablature transcripts to popular songs I wanted to learn. It was hard to find the songs you wanted to play on magazines. It usually depends on whats famous that time, and thats only when it would get published. It was one fatefull evening, I got a guitar mag for my birthday by my late mom. It did not have any songs I wanted, but, she knew I like reading them and bought it regardless. I never took any attention to the album review section but decided to perused and read through to see what was interesting at that time. What cought my eye was the review of the Soundgarden album, SuperUnkown. I miss-intepreted the concept of 'melancholy and beatleisque' to mean the band was a happy-happy melodic ensamble. Bought the album and to my shock, was blasted with the infusing angst and banshee wails of Chris Cornell. Here I was standing in front of my radio speakers being impaled by the wall of guitar distortion, welcoming grunge rock in its most finest.

It was hard to swollow at first, but after awhile it all kinda sinked in...and I was then totally converted. Maka bermulalah zaman rock grunge and alternative music saya. Though later on, my list of listening evolved to Pearl Jam, The Stooges, Velvet Undeground, Stone Temple Pilots, Foo Fighters..and and and, it cannot be denied my admiration for them them stemmed from that first scream and thumping riff of The SoundGardens.

As my skills in guitar playing progress, so did the hunger to be technically proficient. In simple terms, that means nak jadi a bad-ass guitar player. I had enough of power chords and riffing highly distorted guitar. Also going up and down on the guitar neck playing scales as fast as humanly possible is a skill but not a musical expression. I wanted challenges and wanted to explore guitar playing at its finest. That got me into jazz. Acid, funky jazz to be specific. And the song that did it all was Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai. A friend set up a challange for me to figure out the piano opening using the guitar. It took me close to a month to figure it out but once I did it was so cool to play. You see Jamiroquai did not showcase the guitar extensively. No. But it was the successfull attempt to transcribe the song in guitar and improvise accordingly opened up my eyes to music interpretation, styling and soul. I guess it was the song that told me anything is possible with the guitar. And I never looked back.

As we get older, we accumulate experiences. The good and the bad. But mostly the bad sometimes overwhelm the good even if it is as minicule as an atom. The harder the challanges, the higher we go in life, the harder we fall. Being a Muslim its hard not to fall into the trappings of the comfort pill. But with every indulgence, regret is close by. However in spiritual grace comfort is more meaningfull. And for that the greatest loss that Malaysia have is the parting of one of the greatest lyricist of our time...Loloq.

But in M Nasir, he lives eternally in these songs. Nowdays, its these Nusantara and M Nasir's earlier works that lullaby me to rest from the humdrums of the hectic and ruthless world.

So thats it. The songs of my life. It can all be well described by Loloq when he said:

"Sedang tuhan, tahu sesiapa..untuk neraka untuk syurga. Aku kan terpaksa, memilih syurga, demi pengertian ku pada hukum alam. Dan sesunggunya, aku cinta, padamu tuhan walaupun sesat jalan."

Oh my God, what was the fuss all about?

Its Ramadhan. Thank God. Its the one and only month that its actually hip to be holy. I cant imagine I said that. But lets be honest...even my true blue clubbing friends are staying it off to attend Terawih prayers. Reasons are obviouslah...nak mintak ampun dan maaf.

Not that I club that much. Just sometimes I hang around some friends who do. But that is running out of the topic I wish to mention.

I had this sudden epiphany while driving to work 3 days ago. Standard stuck in a jam coz decided to take a few minutes (which ment extra 2 hours) of sleep after Subuh. Things got me thinking. Trust me as all would realise after leading quite a free-wandering life for a bit..I must say I accumulated a fare share of things I was not suppose to do. Ya ya you might argue that whats right or wrong is ones point of view...well at some point a person must define himself..and for me I feel I wish to define myself in what I believe in..

In short..life is kinda easy, if you think about it. Its the sticking to your principles and holding strong to faith thats what hard. Senang je nak concentrate in what your doing but try to do that to your ibadat? Very sure most of us fall flat on our faces.

The reasons I keep referring to ibadat is becouse..after all the care that my friends have been giving, and support from family.. I find peace in knowing that all cobaan dunia comes for a reason. And part of the thing here that helped me get over my recent heartache was...yes you know it..getting closer to God.

Ok..some will argue where does salsa fall into this? I'm not saying I'm perfect kan! But the crowd of people in that community are nice and most of them are not half drunk on the dance floor. So ..one step at a time Ahmad..one step at a time.

This brings me to my problem of love. So whats the big deal. I know now what really matters to me. And yes I know now what I have lost. And what I want to have back. So its a responsibility to find that soulmate. The one partner in your life.

Hang on. Found it. Yup. It was staring me in the face. Whatever I have denied cannot be denied. Though the feelings might not be there as what it use too. Over the years the desire I guess had faded, but faded it has just been. In time hopefully with a small but clear efforts to polish it up..it shall shine as bright as it was before.

What is important..what matters..a good heart, stable, fluent english (dont ask me about this), sweet, beautifull, kind, respective to elders, able to converse with my friends and accept me as who I am, knows everything about me but embraces the differences, intelligent..very intelligent, succesfull, independent and emotionally stable...what more..most importantly unhitched!!

So what am I waiting for? Exactly. Nak kawin kan? Want a great mother to a child and one that your children look up to kan?. Also proven track record of caring for your late mom when she was ill..translated to know what to do with your dad when he's is under the weather.

Thats it Ahmad. Go out there and get the girl. She already exist. Will you end up togather again?..Only God knows but here is God giving you a chance again..and with His blessing I seek that it be true.

So what if I failed again. At least I bled trying. And thats life.

Too many thoughts....

Funny how we have soo much to say, but fall short once in front of the computer. I have been wanting to write about many stuff, but couldnt find the time. Told myself, "Alah, just open up your blog and start writelah." Well, now in front of PC...and still blurrr.

What can we say ya. I find my other friends who have blogs juat update themselves about almost anything. Then again, the thing about blogs is, we hope somehow or rather people will read it and comment. Ahhh but then if its so, then blogging becomes some kinda commercial interlude, which defeats the purpose of an onlie diary eh!

First things first, all hail the arrival of Princess Jada. So happy for my best bud for his first daughter. Hmmm banyak muka Juan. Baguslah ikut mak dia yang hot! Haha. Wishing for one of my own now. Also Eju and Mus also hails their lil bambino. A warm welcome to baby Noah.

Ok. Latest is salsa. I've been trying to get on it since I was introduced to it by my ol friend during one night merayau-rayau at bukit bintang. Long ago Little Havana was..as the name described..little. It was a small lot which is now occupied by this pub called Brasil. I was amazed at how friendly the atmosphere and how people were having a great time. Also the moves..ohhhh those moves. Ok, how can I lie that certain portions of the ladies were clad in their bustiers...most propably the reason I was game.

It took me 2 years to realise this. A friend Aishah got my interest back into this becouse she agreed to be my partner. Took it beginning of the year and was one of my best decisions I made this year. Now I'm in improvers 2, which technically means I'm not bad, but honestly I need a lot of practice to smoothen up the moves more. Which comes to the next problem...practice. Soo limited time, but frequenting clubs help. Problem is, the man's role to lead is very important and I am struggling at the moment to convey clear leads to the ladies. Working hard people, working hard on it.

Strikes an interesting story..most of the ladies in the clubs are really good. So much so, I dare say at certain advance level. So here's the thing, as you progress in class, most moves that was covered in basic would be the base for routines that combine different complex variations. The trick is to have clear leads to have the partner responding correctly to what you want them to do. Hehehehe, so mua had a horrible time when i was dancing with this gorgeous lady, called Vivian and basic open break moves, due to my confusing pressure/signals from my hands/body momentum got her going into these complex turns and side steps. I had to go,' Whoah whats that..hang on aaaaa what do I do next?"

Sheesh that was embarrising. But heres the beauty of salsa. Vivian was very supportive and guided me through her routines and now...tada...Senor Zaf is of certain smooth operator nu. Alah baru dua move je. But still, with more practice should be able to take on the next moves to come.

Orait, enough of salsa. My good friend Johann Ting was in town. Short description, Johann is a good friend of mine but was a rival in the beginning. You see for awhile back in college, I was once the champion at guitar, till Johann came along. Ok, here's me being a sore loser...I am self tought whislt Johannn studied the instrument..so Hah! No lah the guys brilliant. So we jam a lot and from their our reputation as the 2 amigos came about. Fast forward..met up with the guy and he lost weight, grown a goatee and is now an accomplish musician himself. So met up and whats a meeting with Johann if there's no jam, kan? So off we go jammming!

As a result, suddenly my love for music is starting to grow back... at an alarming rate. I'm practicing at least 2 hours everyday now. The session with him also included some pointers. You see, I work with instincts. I learn new skills by listening to establish players, and then experimenting with their styles to see what works. Never knowing the mechanics and theories of my actions. Johann pointed out that I have acquired a lot of advance techniques over the years but find it sayang that I am not able to understand the rationale of these licks. He explained many things and had a more-or-less idiot guide to guitar arpeggio theory. This got me started exploring my normal scale warm up routines in a different way. The result ....sonic and melodic bliss guys. I never knew all these hidden elements within the knowledge that I have till now.

Hmmm...ok so whats next for Amad. Let me see...there's the house that needs grills and a decent kitchen. I am hoping to fully pindah by early next year. Whoooahhhoo. My own pad. Anyway, list of items start to roll but memandangkan keadaan ekonomi yg tak menentu...maybe I'll hold back on most lavish Items on the list.

I might not be around in M'sia that much next year. InsyaAllah, I will be sent for an international assignment for 6 months. Will be globe trotting for awhile doing this IMP pogram the company has set for me. So this means i have to maximise whatever I can for this year. Enjoy it to the max. As much as i could.

Right...things are cheering up. Though nothing happening in the social circle...but gain back friends I thought i lost. The Warwickians have been excellent lately. I started to open up about my break-up and heart break and they took me in and comforted me in times of trouble. Best part was they made a lot of effort to distract me from my sorrows. Special mention must be Feizal and Aliza. Their husband and wife combo effort is worth mentioning. Even though they lead hectic lives and a kid...still made sure they had time to follow up on my progress and keep me company in times of need. Thanks guys.

With that...I have actually exhausted this session. Kepala dah drain. Takde ilham lagi nak tulis. Ok, till next one see ya'll.

What do you do when you end up staring on a blank face wall

Blank. Blank. Blank. But images prop up. Images that make you smile. But mostly ones that make you sad. Why? Becouse why in the first place would one stare at a blank wall? Postulating his presence? I feel not.

Stare. Stare harder, you might actually see, through the wood stains or the cement grains, a picture. A view. To stare..to dare.

Sometimes, Just Sometimes...

Dear Bloggers,

Sometimes, just sometimes..things just dont happen to work out the way we hoped it would be. I wish to declare..(again) that I have failed in love. The love of my life does not have me in her heart. I speak from my heart only, and this heart only beats for that person, but the other beats not for me.

My close friend advised me to close the chapter. Forget the matter. Its hard, I still love her soo much. But then, I guess fate has other plans for me. In times like these, seeking solance with The Almighty is my only shelter and warmth. God is right. In His massage to the Prophet PBUH about his uncle Abdul Mutalib, as he lay on his bed in his dying minutes, the Prophet whispered to him to accept God and recite the Syahadah. He was so distraught as here was his uncle that loved him, cared for him and defended him with his life but will not to even to his dying minutes profess his belief to God, which was the purpose of the Prophet's PBUH struggles and determination. Then Jibrail descended and recited God's words, "It is your (Prophet PBUH) job to send the massage, it is our job to open their hearts"

We try as much, give as much, we might think we have given soo much, but sometimes what was given is not enough. And at this point, regardless of my efforts to her was not enough, I then think of what the Prophet went through. Here was his uncle who cared for him, loved him and defended the Prophet's belief and faith, yet could not accept islam in his heart...." It is your (Prophet PBUH) job to send the massage, it is our job to open their hearts". It pained the Prophet to know this person he loved will never see the light of a promised Heaven.

I feel no need to go into details. Problem is Sayang shares common friends and in this case friends tend to look out for each other. My side of the story might offend people who know her longer than I have. And I do not want to rip up the common friendship between my friends becouse of this territorial situation. Ah well. I have God as my harbour. InsyaAllah things will work out.

The bigger picture. Thats whats important ya. Just becouse I'm sore about things shouldn't give me the right to put my feelings above others. So, in all that may be and what has happened, let bygones be bygones.

On the brighter side of things, I get to concentrate on the house now. Was planning to buy a car much later, that was if I needed the money for marriage, but now alls well. Full steam ahead I'm getting my new black Ford Focus Sport in 2 weeks time. Good timing as it would be just in time for me to bring Ayah back to Kelantan in Style!!! Also, after I could claim my housing interest subsidy next year, I'm seriously considerring my Masters degree. Or ...then again gatal jugak nak do-up the kitchen hehehehe! Then there's Acat's new born coming that should be loads of fun.

All in all...not a bad year. Wished the factory started better though, but ahh well, we cant get all our wishes can we. Honestly, would I have it any other way? Would I have been better not to have given my heart to Sayang? In a strange confession on my side...I was gratefull to know that I could love a women with all my heart. Thats what matters.

Life goes on guys. Cya guys later. Maybe road trip? Whoahooo!

The thing about everything....

The thing about everything.. "Not knowing where to start, where to begin, how can everything be explain?", you might say. However, have we actually thought of thinking at where everything might end?



Ok, no more philosophical bull and paraphrases from intellectual parenthesis. Have we actually wondered what the world would be like if we all thought of the end, the epilogue, before embarking on our adventours or endevours? You will be surprised at how much we all think in this way.



The rationale behind this statement is that, ladies and gentlemen, fellow bloggers, population of earth...I wholeheartedly wish to declare to you that I am in love. I am in love with the most beautiful maiden that God allowed my eyes to gaze upon. Yet in all that has transpired, lil did I knew, that it all started at the 'end'.



The chronology of how we met..though very interesting and worthy of a post, I prefer not to illustriate. Lets just say, my memories to keep. But what I would like to mention is the spirit in how my loved developed.



I do not have an illustrious love track record, and with such minimum 'hands-on' experience I would not say that I am an expert at love or relationships. But one thing was for sure, I was hurt before, and for this, my heart was always protected by my conscience. But enough said, that past is the past, and for now..what holds before me is the future.



My gorgeous Sayang also came from a similar emotional background as me. Both fell out off love badly and lost a most deared person in our lives at the same time. Though in this situation, I was more fortunate to be able to deal with my grievences and lost earlier on. Sayang had to deal with things very recently. Regardless of the timeline, here were 2 individuals who went through life's morbid expectations which left scars that shall forever remain. But scars heal, though some will ultimately stay, they will be set as a reminder, a mark that would remind us of the learnings from life's parody.



Friendship is a powerfull bond. And tis was friendship that I was offering to Sayang when we first met. It would be a lie if I did not admit to have succumbed to her beauty at the initial acquintance, but my feint heart told me to look deeper, if the desires were to remain. And so friendship it was.



Often in most platonic attempts, the desires to share our lives with an opposite sex, whislt undermining any ostencible underpinnings is, lets be honest, kinda hard. But thankfully, with much encouragement from situational instances, I believed that it might work..that for the heck of it I would have found a friend, a confidant, a person to share life with in Sayang. And I did. And it was great.



The more I knew Sayang, the more I saw the joys of life. As a free spirit, she showed me the potential of living life to the fullest. I had the best times of my life as I could recall. In such a short period, I was able to share the sweets of this earth through the joy shown to me by Sayang. She is a person who loves and is loved. Even underneath all that may crush her spirit and happiness, she never gives up to give life one more chance. Never giving up in life is a courage worthy of valor.

So where does the end begin? Even endings have beginnings. The ending for me was the realisation that everything will end. Everything will end. Friendships, passion, wealth, health, patience, sanity, and this shroud that covers this growing affection for this person. Thus life needs to be lived in the fullest, like it will end the next minute. We can plan as much as we want, and as detailed as we want yet fate still manages to drop you flat in the face. Cliche' as it might sound, when examples are shown to you in full technicolour and Dolby surround sound then, does it really hit you. That was the experiences I gathered being part of Sayang's life. And with that, suddenly everything I ever believed in, thought, imagined, assumed, presumed, my whole foundation of the perspective of what was just changed. It changed forever.

I cant remember a day I felt so alive till I met Sayang. And though Sayang often asks me why I fell in love with her, warning me of her high and lows, I guess I have not said enough..that Sayang I fell in love with you and everything. And the thing about everything is.....

Love for a stranger

Friendship builds from nothing, and dies sometimes from nothing. The death of a friendship is unbearable. Strange as this maybe, time will heal all wounds. And leave us with the memories. Memories that some, strangely consciously we fight hard to forget. And in those memories those strangers fade away. But in some, they forever remain.

But given a chance, just one chance, just one chance is all I ask.. I will sit high up amongst the hills, and to the valley below, will I scream to the top of my lungs, until all breath is taken away from me.. to say the one thing that makes us no stranger to each other.........

The story so far....

Dear Bloggers,

Its been ahwile. My dedication to write..hmphhh probably at best be described as utterly inconsistent. As usual, the excuses are given..work, outstation, project, and and and..but somehow today I managed to gather up some quality time with me, my laptop, a stash of Mentos SourMix and some tunes blazing through this microscopic speaker of my feeble handphone, since it happens to be that my laptop speakers went bonkers. Note to friends, an outdated iPOD for a birthday present would be nice! (Hint!Hint!).

You know the 'ol saying of the elders, in faith in God, and thou shall prevail. Well, God has been very kind to me lately. The decision to buy my house was, kinda impulsive. I wasnt like going around scouting for places, compiling brochures, cross-referencing every details of loans, MRTA offers with location, price and affordability. Nope...it was kinda..damn, the wedding funds there, but errr..no girl..so..hmmmm, change my ride? Yeah kinda did that modified Honda Bullet thingy to catch some action, which was blurgh..and at minimum some action by minah rempits..that never prevailed. So, decisions, decision. Hot ride or your own pad?

Then it hit me, what if get the pad, paint the walls psychedelic pink, install rotating bed, mirrorball on the ceilings and smog the place with Mojo incense, then get the hot ride! Yup. Seems like a good plan. So a houselah. Decision decided.

So off thee went, into the Batmobile, breezing through LDP arriving at Taipan at which I approached Sime UEP. Called up a friend and ask for a walkthrough of the current existing projects that were going on. Sime UEP has custody of good locations, so it was an obvious choice for me to look there first for options. Apart for some additional incentives for staff purchase, the property appreciation for Ara Damansara and Putra Heights was far above 20%. Got hold of a list of available good units and off I was to view them.

So, brought 'lil sis along for the ride, looking at the houses along Putra heights and Ara Damansara. As the available, and affordable Ara lots were not attractive, we whisked ourselves to the far reaches of USJ, and set foot on Putra Heights. Browse through Laman Putra untill, ever so cooly my sister said, " Oh my God, Cantiknyeee!!!". At which my response was ok, take foto and show Dad.

Back home, showed Dad the brochure that entailed the layout of that particular unit, some fotos to get a better picture, at which Dad turns around and tells me, " How much am I willing to spend?". To which my reply was the whole wedding funds. An eyebrow was raised..proceeded by a grin. At this point, he was looking at that units largest build up size. That particular size had a nice guest room; which is obviously for him. He pointed out that when he started in life, he was scraping the barrel to sustain his income with family and house. So, looking sharply at me, why should I suffer less!

So, it was set. I went to Sime UEP, plonked in the deposite and there you go. Bought the house. As of to date not only did it take my wedding funds to get through the first payment, but totally exhausted the EPF account 2 and my fixed savings. Not to mention my current savings account was dried up...left barren like an empty well. To sustain myself, had to go through some tough times asking Dad for money to pay the toll and petrol..malunye!

But, so has it, just when I thought I had to brave the winter, in comes a memo from HR confirming the profit sharing from Conti global. So, as you know it a certain bonus would be paid out this month for the company's international profit! Whoahoooh! Alhamdulillah. God has ways to surprise you sometimes.

Which comes to a point, a man does not choose his destiny, he tries his best in life until finally his destiny appears before him. So, thats the new motto. The new vision. The new philosophy. As we near ourselves to the end of 2007, I can only mention the highlight of this year as much:

• Acat and Juan got married. All praise to God for finding my best bud happiness
• My cuz Weween's amazing wedding..best wedding event so far
• Bought the house. Bought the love shack.
• Acat being a dad for the first time.

So, being that I wouldnt know till when I would be able to write again, I wish all bloggers, Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha, Happy Christmas Holidays and a smashing good year.

P.S. Sorry Juan. Didn't had it in me to talk bad about women. Who am I to say or judge people especially to the companion and equal of men.

This is the house that 'Jack' built

Dear Readers,

Aha! So just to update to you guys I am officially the owner of Lot no 42, Jalan Putra Indah, Putra Heights. Tis, ladies and gents, is my humble abode. I bought this house after Raya. It was, to some extent based on some frustration as well as a certain decision I decided I should take should I end up at 30 and single.

Ok, I'm not yet 30, but 28 going on to 29! I have saved up some money for a grand wedding, but alas a promise of granduer doesn't seem to attract ladies of this yore..I guess. So to Hell with them (for the moment) and I welcome this latest offerring (semua berkat rezeki datang dari Tuhan, kan?) with open arms. Alhamdulillah.
I have to admit that its kinda big even for guys that are just starting a family. Selalunye a simple 20 x 70 or 24 x 70 dah kire cukuplah, but I seem to push the envelope by purchasing a 29 x 75 size home! Tah ape nak buat with all that space..God knows. Actually there was a few options before this house, but the most important choice was that Dad was comfortable with the house. He had the last say. He would be an integral part of this house, so his comfort does come up as top priority in the decision factor.

As usual, the temptation of decorating memanglah teramat sangat. Gone are the car magazines, in come the interior design journals. I have been salivating over Pottery Barn catalogues on the bed and on the 'stool'. Nasib baik my cousin is an interior decorator, boleh mintak tips. So now I have a new obsession; taking photos of places and friends houses if I find some ideas that they have done tickles my fancy. Nasib baik dah upgrade memory card handfon! Just recently spent last Saturday with Acat and Juan, in which I asked Juan what was the colour of her cream coloured wall! Ideas, beb!

This house also managed to open up a new family routine in which my sisters demand that we try to meet up every weekend to discuss of this house punye decoration. Theres 2 reasons for this:

1. My eldest Nadya has also purchased a house, so throwing ideas around togather to work out the best solutions for each others property.
2. Should I still be single in the next 5 years.. then my house hold 2 purposes as a meeting/gathering/party location or as a romantic weekend excursion for my eldest should she want to get a way from it all. Applies too for little sis but she's got to get married first!

So, basically the theme is very cozy and very sexy as well. Hmm will go well with the 'player' ambience I was suggesting. Kire 'lovenest'lah! Haha. But sorry for my fellow bloggers there is a certain rental fee that I will be charging should you require such opportunities.

Most recently Raya came in and out so quickly. Nothing special happened. The normal sembahyang raya, visit kubur Arwah Mak, then off to big sis for the family foto. Which reminds me, the foto above showed the dangers of eating too much lemang Pak Ali..bloated siut. (or memang I have put on weight).

Oh ya, and to top the Raya event, nothing is complete without visiting my extended family, Acat's family. Here we have a foto of myself and the Rafali's. Hehe, dats a cute pic of Juan though!

Right, seems that the excitement of having a house and an empty canvas to decorate happens to engulf my available free time. I hope I am not boring you guys with future post regarding decorative decisions and all. Hehe..my own Pad! Whoahhh! Kire tis would be the only thing I could blog about memandangkan my savings are up to zero since I dish it all out on the house. So my finances need to be strictly monitored as well as some carefree/careless lifestyle must be changed. and ohya..the wedding funds have been sacrificed so potential dates..I guess a cozy stall would have to do..sorry.

Right..till the next post, all the best ya'll and live life to the fullest.

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Hey, y'all! Firstly, a million appologise for not updating. Been really cought up with many things, both work and personal stuff, but hey! I'm here so...whats been happening? Lets start by saying thanks Acat for that coral pink shirt you left at my house few years ago, coz it kinda save me some time to buy a shirt for one of my trips to Slovakia. The photo you see before you introduces the drivers of Continental Sime Tyres!

So, point in question..I really need to hang out with my ol pals again! Hari-hari melepak ngan orang tua-tua nih..ends up I'm starting to refer to stuff by saying, "..during my time". Right preludes me to my point about facebook. Yes. I know much has been said and yadda yadaa but I just can't help but be totally and utterly addicted to it. To prove a point, heres my schedule in Lotus Notes:

• 8am to 8.30am - Check gmail, superpoke my frends, give a pressie to fren and update
• 10.30 - 11.00 - (X Me) at least somebody. Check out whats new.
• 12.45 - 1pm - At least write on someones wall
• 4.45 - 5pm - Play bubblewrap to destress and re-take an IQ test

Yes, and I quite stick to this schedule tightly..hehe. Ah well the life. Anyways, whats more important is that you get to check on what your other pals have been doin. Ok, heres a few interesting details:

• Elina Ismail (KTJ) was working with KLUE mag and now in Australia with Womens Weekly. Current her celebrity facebook frens include Daphne Iking, Hannah Tan, Marion Counter, Afdlin Shauki and Carmen Soo. So she my fren when rase gatal-gatal to hang out with the celebs.
• Johan Ting (KTJ) ditch a job as a software designer and enrolled into Berklee Music Inst London, and passed with flying colours. Currently performing at High Street clubs in London, frens with Colyn Bailey Ray and will be opening an acoustic concert featuring Take That. My pal if I want to expand my music horizons.
• Izlyn Ramli (KTJ) sister to my best mate in college, Izmet, is accountant-cum-singer who is frens with Amir Yusoff, Reza Salleh, Shaun Ghazi and Zainal Abidin. My pal for when I'm in need of tips when need to perform, for whatever reasons.
• Iju (Ezura) know her through my best pal Acat. At the moment current the best person to hook me up with chicks coz thats what she has nesttled in her quarters of friends.
• And Acat...Best Pal Ever!!!!

In short what can I say. I mean finding time to blog..then time to SuperPoke, werewolf bite and finish things off by totally obliterate my fellow frens pirates..thats the life.

I got something else to share with you guys but for the time being I'm a bit exhausted from trying to make this blog template work. Hope you like it and will update about my new 'baby' soon. Till then...bye!

Its times like these that you need a hug

Dear Blog/Bloggers,

I write to you in hope that I can find sanctuary from this whirlwind of events that has happened to me since 6 months ago. Choices are always there. And though I often mention of choices from a context of relationships, I falter before you as I must confess the inner conflict in my soul stems from decisions that I have to do for the sake of being competitive.

Yes, its those sad stories again of work. Do I have a life? People always seem to say this when all that gets me riled up is when I mention work. I guess people fail to understand my situation. I am directly in charge of 185 workers. And that was put to test 6 months ago.

I now can freely speak about this as last Monday, 30.07.2007 marked the final day of our retrenchment exercise. Yes you heard me right. It was my second retrenchment exercise. However this time the numbers were bigger. Total plant was effected and I was called in 6 months ago to re-evaluate the manufacturing output efficiency. Sorry to say that we are not up to mark.

Funny thing was, whislt I was spending time with the IR lawyers, I found some interesting cases. Then studies done by the NPE showed that across the board, through all comman industries we have a common problem...malaise.

NOT Malays, mind you..but the malaise attitude..that unfortunately, statistically corresponds strongly to our Malays. Short snippet.the old management did a big blunder with the union to allow the following; 80% output within actual working time and balance 20% remainder output within 4 hrs overtime. Thats a cognitive parody as capacity productive charts are based on the fact that output is counted within identified losses. That means, in 8 hours a shift, 15% losses is the current standard of losses due to set-up times, breakdowns, maintenance, breaks and material losses. That means, we dont blindly give an output figure to a worker. In actuality, output is counted after considering that 15% productivity deficit. However, rather than argue that additional output sans 100% be remunerated according to a higher multiplying scale, my workers argue to have money replaced by time.

This means, its not more money within working time, but rather more rest time to make same amount of money! More time to do WHAT! So to all wives/girlfriends out there, your lazy husbands are purposely defending their right to go back home late under the pretext of ade kerja..thats bullshit.

I just completed few months back this Performance Base Incentive scheme (PBI) that rewards the employee base on his output efficiency. That literally means, within his working time if he/she produces a minimal 5% additional output he will be rewarded very handsomely. So, he can go back with extra cash in the pocket, on time, pick up the kids, set the table, takes care of the dishes, shower, put on some cologne, light some candles then make amazing love to your wife!

But no..not our workers. We want more time. To do what? Smoke! So, thats general malaise for you. Funny, this problem is across the board. Toyota Malaysia is having similar problems as well as SmithKline Sterling and Beecham! Jadi not realli that badlah for me.

But here's an interesting snippet..NPE statistics backed by international surveys shows that the boon of the electronic industry in Malaysia dulu was due to a simple fact that our FEMALE employees (minah Karen) were more proficient! Yup. I am not kidding you. Well, that can be seen clearly by the fact that in Kelantan, most businesses are run by ladies. The most important fact was our female operators have the patience and tenacity to look into their everyday life at work and initiate improvements.

Ok, hang on. Dah wander jauh dah. OK. So total plant had 126 variable operators and fixed management retrenched. Dalam hati sedih, but one part rase macam they deserve it. I just have to gulp it down I guess. The usual happened; people callin in with their I ade family lah, wife to take care lah and, and and...Had to tahan and stick to the plan.

This retrenchment exercise was different though. 80% of the task was to restructure the factory for efficiency, but the remaining 20% was to remove benchwarmers. So, we were playing that fine line of sticking to the basic of LIFO (last in first out) and target termination. Kenapalah IR court tak banyak awek. Tulah awek-awek law nih. Life is not all Ally McBeal divorce case ok. There's more to law than to settle marriage problems. Tu dia, satu department semua org tua nuh!

I have mix feelings. When I was picked to be part of the restructuring team, I was excited and thrill. But as the months pass, frustration and anger over our countrymen's attitudes and fear that my team's proposed structure might fail!

The decision is made. Stick with it to the end Ahmad. Its times like this.. I just wished I had an arm around me, and a sweet caress from a cheek, as I hear a whisper from a sweat voice saying, "Sayang you know what? Today at work....." A short diversion from my beloved telling me of her qualms in life. Boy would that not take away all this burden.

Now this I call a wedding!

Bridal Day

This bridal day with gold I will enchain,
And wears its hours like rubies on my heart,
That you and I from Love may never part
While still these jewelled monument remain.
These monuments, wrought out of hours, contain
The wound inflicted on me by Love's dart
That stung with such intolerable smart,
Until today we vanquished Times and Pain.

And now I wear this crimson diadem
Where late my heart I did incarnadine
With open wounds in passionate array,
Unhealed until your eyes looked down at them,
And crystallized their sanguine drops to shine
In captured moments of our bridal day


Tis said, marriages is a harmony of life. I believe this entirely. To some, a wedding has many elements that make it magic. Some maybe the company, a special song, or even a heartwarming massage from the father-of-the-bride. Whatever forms it takes, nothing can be as magical as moments that come from the heart. If it could, I wish to post all 299 photos of my cousins wedding but alas, blogspot can only muster as much.

The wedding was made simple, with all the cousins chipping in here and there. Well, thats my Johor family in a nutshell. What started as suppose to be simple..became an onslought of ideas that transform the normal wedding into a magical night that ended with a bang! There was cheeky ber-pantun that was fused in rap, the brothers telling of their story in a song, the brilliantly made love dedication video presentations..and the finale of letting your hair down to the BAND.

Most wedding photos I see from blogs tend to be very stoic..very regimented. Its like everybody is trying to control handsome and macho. Well, thats keluarga Ungku Salmah for you. Its all fun and happiness and joy is a must. So to you readers I present you these captured moments..a symbol of joy in a family unbashfull and unashame to share love in the world.

-Photos courtesy of AR Production. Recommend to those in search of a sharp eye!

If I could be good.

Though there are as many as I can recall,
They seem to be not many enough that I should remember.

I often speak of what I have done,
Though not see what might have been undone,

And seems to me the story so far
Is that for this moment, we seem cought up by far
Of speaking in tongues drench in the obscenity
That we seem to need to speak in languid poetry!!!

Ok, geng. Apasal lah tetiba semua org terase mcm nak kena expresi diri anda dlm sajak dan syair. The past 18 blog post I have been reading, semua berbentuk puisi nan indah. Nih yang dah tercabar nih!

Anyways, not having anything special to report. The blogger I was referring to in my last post was MZ Ayam. She lost her father. I hope we have said a little prayer for those whom have left us.

In that respect, the topic I mentioned..If I could be good, dont we think that we feel too much that we have done as much to be as good? In self reflection, in self pity, we might remorse at our short comings. The sarcastics amongst us will stomp you and say get up and do something about it.

Then the optimistics would make the pessimist feel, ewww kau ingat kau tu hebat/baik sangat ke?

Oh well..let it be let it be. I hope the rest of the readers will bare with my senseless rants for awhile as I have troubles posting my cousins wedding photos and that is annoying me immensly

To where we return to

To my Muslim readers, I wish to implore that we take time, for awhile to recite Al-Fatihah for the father of one of our bloggers, whom past away early morning, the 25th June 2007.

At times like these, it made me remember a recital we used to do when we were at school.

Tuhan ku
Aku tidak layak
Untuk syurga Mu
Tetapi aku juga tidak sanggup menanggung
Siksa neraka Mu
Oleh itu kurniakanlah
Ke ampunan Mu
Ampunkanlah dosaku
Sesungguhnya engkaulah pengampun
Dosa-dosa besar

Moga diberkati jenazah. Al-Fatihah

Iqra'. Read. Baca. Apasalah nye..

Lately, I have been reading through some of other blogs out there and it comes to my attention, how easily distructive blogging can be. I am a proponent to freedom of speech and the freedom of the press, however, with great power comes great responsibilities.

What I am getting at is how we freely express our opinions ( me included ) without carefull thought of what the ramifications might be. Ok, fine its our blog. We have right to say what we want and how we want, but then, on occurrences of our lives takpe kot.

Its when we hit certain issues, I feel a little bit of studying on what we nak cakap must be there. Topic in question, there were recent posts in blogs out there mentioning about the Lina Joy case. So many opinions, tapi what cought my eye is how complacent we have become. The funny part is, we base our post on inferred feels and thoughts, rather than facts. Ironic, when the actual situation is right there in the papers.

Posts have been written about the freedom of ones person to pick their religion. Fine by me. Then they question why cant a convert re-convert? Good question. Then it goes to the issue about a simple IC card rectification. Simple too. Then it continues why is Islam unfair? And specifically how our country's constitution deals with this! Ok, back off awhile. Read. The court demands a baptism cetificate or proof of the conversion which the counsellors failed to provide. So the petition of the court was to provide the proof of conversion or else petition to change the IC nullified.

Yg kite pi skewed sampai kata Muslims are hostile in their attempts to retain the populous, cmon man, mcmlah org Islam kat M'sia nih bagus pun. Segelintir je. But what needs to be highlighted, from my point of view, is our view of religion. Ur beliefs should not be the flavour of the month. That to me is a big warning to all new Muallafs out there. Sad thing is I much enjoy the company of Muallafs, as they take more patience and efforts to understand their religion. Majority of them make better Muslims then us. Ok, small percentage of them convert for the sake of nuptial traditions, tapi tu yang salah tuh.


But think about it, once procured, presented evidence, under civil law the court will recognise. This is what Lina Joy is not able to produce and this is what and why some people in the right mind are pissed off. Religion is not an undergarment you put on and take off as when you please.

There are bad Muslims, there are good Muslims. There are bad Buddhist, and there are good Buddhist, there are good Christians and there are bad Christians. We dont hate Jews, cos their are good people we hate Zionist. So, look at the issue. Take it as the case dictates it and the answer is clear.


Lastly, Malaysia is a very forgiving country. As skewed as most Malays in this country are, pls let me straighten some facts. Tak pernah ke kite tanya how difficult it is to maintain a multi-racial multi-ethnic society? Susah siut. And the last thing I want to hear from anyone is their 'honest' opinions of Bumiputra rights. Ade sampai org suggest kite nih conducting pseudo-apartheid principals.

Fact. We have 2 Commissioners report for our constitution, one is the Cobbald Commission, the other the Riggs Commission. What is important, why 2 commissions were deployed was to settle Tunku Abdul Rahman's defiance to accept the Chinese and Indian community. Yes, the initial plan was to allow safe passage of the Chinese back to China and the Indians back to India. The East India Company, then sanction by Lord Ruford was under discussion over the cost for the relocation. There was no citizenship for these races. They are under contract employment from respective employer. However, this is to underline the majority Chinese and Indian community brought here under this contract, not already estiblished Chinese and Indians who came and resided since zaman kesultanan Melayu Melaka.

So this number was 98 thousand chinese and 36 thousand Indians. For 5 days Tun Tan Cheng Lock and Tun Sambathan fought with Tunku to change his mind. Somehow, at the last minute, Lord Ruford declared that change of policies from the Tories at England that this relocation will not be borne by EIC, and the cost must be borne by Malaya. So, it was agreed then, Tunku, Tan Cheng Lok and Sambathan that these people will be retained..as citizens of Malaya.

PROVIDED..the rights of Bumiputra was set. This to protect the separation of social demographics at the moment where the Chinese was heavily involved in trading and the Indians in agriculture. The Malays were in between. Majority in small self-preserving traditional industries, and some prominent numbers in administration. The agreement was, that rights of Bumiputra for land ownership, education and rest that I forgot to detail will be endorse by the constitution in return for 134 thousand citizenship delivered overnight. 134 CITIZENSHIP OVERNIGHT! An unprecedented event even till now!!!

Fast forward. Future. Chinese have majority market control, Indians slowly picking up and filling gaps where there are and the Malays? Tuh yg sedihnye, dah bagi head start and what do we do? We stummer and bungle the advantage. Now 50 years of independence and still bumi wealth is at 20% index. OK. So for the Chinese, you got very rich..do we obstruct you or send you to the gallows like Thaksin? No we celebrate. Give you Dato' ship for God sake!. We set up Chinese schools, Indian schools for your liking. The right to land and ownership.

For the religian, we dont topple down your big Statue of Buddha in Penang, or even Batu Caves. We let the Churches bell ring. We allow big locations for Churches. We provide everything. Hey compare that with abroad! Take England for example. Goddammit what have we learned from our studies abroad? Mosques are not allowed to have high minarets. There will not be a broadcast of adzan at all. And the construction of a mosque, if not blending to town councel's architecture mode, is not allowed. So siapa oppress siapa nih?

We are so forgiving and yet they forget. Jangan kata Melayu lupa, yang lain lupa. And that is what I want to get through. We will be celebrating our new independence. We are Malaysians, we so claim. Bahasa Malayu is the national language so learn it.

In conclusion, correct me if I'm wronglah. About the history of Bumiputra, you've learned it at form 4, just malas nak ingat kot. Those who want to know detail, grab a copy of MALAYA: AN ANTHOLOGY by Tan Sri Khalid Jamaluddin written in 1972 or better still read Riggs Commission report itself at the National Archives!

Facts people facts. We as bloggers have an audience. This audience, whoever they may be will some way or rather take our insights seriously. Imagine the power of opinions we have? Thats why we talk of the power of the internet. Yes. It is more than a tool for getting dates or playing games. Its a cyberspace where in its ether our thoughts can jump out and reach someone.

I'm not free from flaws too. This is where my fellow bloggers comment mean a lot. I have cherish each of your thoughts and views. So, I promise to give mine with deep thought. Tis my promise!

P/S: This post is a dual frustration of the state of the world and the fact that writer's original reasons for posting was to describe his holidays at Johor, but fell short as the wedding photos cannot load!!!

Save the last dance for me

Its been a long over due post, at last found some space to breath, thus here I am. The much needed exhale was truly worth it. Lots of goings on at the factory especially with the upcoming financial review.

Anyways, buddy Acat succesfully tied the knot. Syabas! Kepada Depa. Moga kebahagian berkekalan sampai ke anak cucu cicit. I hope Juan doesnt mind my short berangan at her reception approching her house, sebab jalan atas red carpet! Berangan sat mcm selebriti. It might be in the video! Haha. Also, got the opportunity to meet up with Zeeda and her hubby Jimmy. For those interested in procuring the Tom Abg Saufi 'ish kebaya, yup Zeeda looked hot in it.

The reception kat Acat's place saw me being introduce to Azlan's gfren. Ask the million $$$ question, "Where/how didja guys meet?" Upon which the answer was, "We met while white water rafting". Ok. So I need to be more adventurous. But not bad Azlan. Met up with Saiful and his 2 munchkins. Kept on brainwashing his son by consistently referring to him as 'Dr Shafie' You got to admit, that name has Doctor all written over it.

A few days after that saw me and Zeeda meeting up to watch Shrek 3. Kinda felt it was a set up mtg for me to be formally introduce to Heydee. It was a pleasent evening, but Shrek, unfortunately suffered from 2nd half 'aku-dah-takde-idea-lagi-nak-continue' pace. But all in all a simple light and easy film. A great way to unwind from the busy days at the factory.

The rest of the weeks were basically pre-vacation work. Cousin's wedding in Johor on the 2nd June, so thinking of bring my lil sis to Singapore for a holiday at the same time have her virgin passport legally 'fucked'. That all togather is another story that credits a separate post. I'll get on it soon as I get some photos from the wedding photographer. The guys a frend of mine at Uni, and he's really good at taking photos. Perused through some previews on his laptop on the last day, and they were brilliant!

Right. Thats whats been happening. Loads of story regarding the cousin's wedding. Also lots of photos and maybe if possible I might post a video of me jamming with the 7 piece band!

One might say (in my case nearly everyone) , "Tak teringin ke Mat!" It would be a lie to say no. Surprisingly, being surrounded by the immense love atmosphere, I felt different. I felt liberated in the feeling that, hey here we have people who love each other and want to spend their life with each other. Thats a bold move. Truth be told, I was feeling nervous when Acat was about to lafaz nikah. It hit me then, how much convince you must be to say those words. Takes courage man! I deal with workers, and some of them will need to be straightened out once and awhile. Its true, the trick to know a person's conviction is through their eyes, their posture and body language and voice intonation. Having that experience, being in that congregation of people, surrounding my frend and hear him say, without any doubt that he take in him the responsibilities of care for life for this person..is a powerful and emotional presence. Like how good orators are able to feed into the emotions of an audience, spoken words from the heart, do touch the heart of another.

One reasons why I would drive far away to Masjid Tabung haji at Kelana Jaya just to catch khutbah Jumaat, coz you might get rogue imams that speak of their minds with passion. Tak tidur beb!

Kesimpulannye, If i were to rush into things now, I would be sitting on that cushion facing the wali and going.."Ya Allah! am I doing the right thing?" Doubt is a very hard pill to swallow, and trust me, working with Germans, where its all facts and figures, once they pull the,"So what would you be forecasting then?" line on you, you would actually stummer if you pull a number from the sky. After several attempts of failing bullshits (thankfully as I learned from it), it trained me to be on song with what you do. Know your stuff, and conviction will follow.

So, back to the cushion, amidst a backdrop of people, intently peering their ears on every breath you would muster for that conviction...guys at this moment I donno what I would do. Worst thing..probably lompat and lari macam roadrunner kot!

Oleh itu, kesudahannye, I think we have to let things evolve or happen naturally. I believe in qada dan qadar. Eventually Yang Esa will somehow drop a ladies stuff whislt walking down an aisle somwhere at Mutiara Damansara, and I just happen to have lightning reflexes'lah kan to catch the fallen objects. Next thing you know, tuuu dia. Aku jatuh cinta.

Thanx for those concerns and set ups. I must say you guys have nice frends. But I guess belum jodoh lagi. And from the events that took place recently, I feel that I'd rather be madly in love with a person, rather than chase a good financial and family plan. Who knows, I might capture the heart of a rich tycoons daughter, thus making early marriage advantages nullified becouse I'd be filthy rich! Hahahahahaha

Right till later guys. Ciou!

Lamanye ku menghilang..

Whoah! Susah giler dis couple if days nak find time to write. Worst things though is the fact that when you have the time, like now, punyelah banyak benda nak ditulis. Hehe. Patience Ahmad, patience.

Acat's wedding is coming, in a matter of weeks. Thinking nak buat stag night, tapi tak tahu ape nak buat yet. The temptation of renting whores does come to mind, but I think fornication before his wedding is not on my best bud's interest.

Then theres disco. You know what? I might sound lame to yuppies out there, but last time I was in a disco was at uni and that was under the pretext of me being employed as a technician installing all the peripherals. Senang cakap, kat M'sia nih, last time was I went at this salsa club belakang bukit bintang. Did realli enjoyed myself.

Ok. Dancing. Heheh. Guys if you knew me and Acat, that would be the last thing we will ever able to muster the courage to do. Dont get me wrong, goofing around is our forte', but grooving to beats ala' Usher or Justine T memang jauh skali. Then again, its a stag night! Shouldnt write off all possible idiotic ideas, kan?

Yo! Got this email from this girl. Hehe. Answers from when I tried to court her. Haha. Laugh on this. Amongst her reasons for rejection:

1) You're a realli nice guy
2) I feel I'm not the right one for you
3) There's things about me you dont know

Oh! Cmon! Is that the best you can do? Its like the 3 basic answers in the 10 ways to lose a guy manual. Cmon! Women! Be creative. Which comes to my point actualli. To the female of the species within my group, what lines have you guys used? Hehe. Need to update myself to be with the times. Makes it easy to leave it by when it comes.

Oh man! I got like loads of stuff yg I nak cerita tapi kan...memandangkan there is ...this much of space and attention a reader can ingest dalam sesingkat masa, I rasa keep it short and simple for now.

Right. So, off I go to organise the stag night. Any offers to be female strippers?