Sometimes, Just Sometimes...

Dear Bloggers,

Sometimes, just sometimes..things just dont happen to work out the way we hoped it would be. I wish to declare..(again) that I have failed in love. The love of my life does not have me in her heart. I speak from my heart only, and this heart only beats for that person, but the other beats not for me.

My close friend advised me to close the chapter. Forget the matter. Its hard, I still love her soo much. But then, I guess fate has other plans for me. In times like these, seeking solance with The Almighty is my only shelter and warmth. God is right. In His massage to the Prophet PBUH about his uncle Abdul Mutalib, as he lay on his bed in his dying minutes, the Prophet whispered to him to accept God and recite the Syahadah. He was so distraught as here was his uncle that loved him, cared for him and defended him with his life but will not to even to his dying minutes profess his belief to God, which was the purpose of the Prophet's PBUH struggles and determination. Then Jibrail descended and recited God's words, "It is your (Prophet PBUH) job to send the massage, it is our job to open their hearts"

We try as much, give as much, we might think we have given soo much, but sometimes what was given is not enough. And at this point, regardless of my efforts to her was not enough, I then think of what the Prophet went through. Here was his uncle who cared for him, loved him and defended the Prophet's belief and faith, yet could not accept islam in his heart...." It is your (Prophet PBUH) job to send the massage, it is our job to open their hearts". It pained the Prophet to know this person he loved will never see the light of a promised Heaven.

I feel no need to go into details. Problem is Sayang shares common friends and in this case friends tend to look out for each other. My side of the story might offend people who know her longer than I have. And I do not want to rip up the common friendship between my friends becouse of this territorial situation. Ah well. I have God as my harbour. InsyaAllah things will work out.

The bigger picture. Thats whats important ya. Just becouse I'm sore about things shouldn't give me the right to put my feelings above others. So, in all that may be and what has happened, let bygones be bygones.

On the brighter side of things, I get to concentrate on the house now. Was planning to buy a car much later, that was if I needed the money for marriage, but now alls well. Full steam ahead I'm getting my new black Ford Focus Sport in 2 weeks time. Good timing as it would be just in time for me to bring Ayah back to Kelantan in Style!!! Also, after I could claim my housing interest subsidy next year, I'm seriously considerring my Masters degree. Or ...then again gatal jugak nak do-up the kitchen hehehehe! Then there's Acat's new born coming that should be loads of fun.

All in all...not a bad year. Wished the factory started better though, but ahh well, we cant get all our wishes can we. Honestly, would I have it any other way? Would I have been better not to have given my heart to Sayang? In a strange confession on my side...I was gratefull to know that I could love a women with all my heart. Thats what matters.

Life goes on guys. Cya guys later. Maybe road trip? Whoahooo!