Its hard to say goodbye

Hmm..Aleh-aleh all my frends are into this LUVVVVV thing going on. Haha. What can I say about that issue, accept for nil! Not an expert, and never shall be.

But I guess, its hard to say goodbye. To almost anything. The first car, as much as a junk jalopy it might be, it still is ur first car. Kire banyak giler kenanganlah. The first guitar. The Kapok. The numbing and the blisters but it still was the inspiration. The first gilfren, who actually is someone quite famous now. The first discipline problem when u were cought with ur pants down in the prefects toilet and u having the HEM teacher worrying about a URTV pose (I mean come on man, chill out lah cikgu)

And this job. I have many reasons to leave, but have many reasons to stay. Just like Langkawi. I guess I should just let go of the experience. Yes it was fun but...reality is life is not all palms and beaches.

I need to leave my dependency. I am dependent on a lot of things. Yes to all who might think I stopped smoking, I still puff up (most of the time). That has to go. My belly, yes definitely. My so called perfect definition of a women, and my dream girl. The skyline GT R34. My dependent on credit. My dependent on my sister Suraya's jokes, Nadya's wisdom that make me dependent, and to let go of the feeling for this someone.

Sumtimes, I wish I had'nt make stupid rules. It tends to eat back at you. God, trust me I tried to resist the temptation but, I am helpless. I am so in .... with this person. I dream of her, I think of her everytime and every inch of my life now. But I cant have her. Two hearts, need to beat as one, but mine beats alone. I should not give up but my rules make things complicated.

So off I go to find her replacement. And I did. I found someone who for once, I am thinkin of more. I still think of "her" but ...I feel sumthing might happen with Ms Mystery now. "She" knows how I feel. I just hope for "she" that, for what is it worth, "she" is in my heart. But for now...............

I have to bid goodbye. And I open my heart to the world. And for now I am ready. Ms Mystery. I am ready for the jump.

Its hard to say goodbye....(writer takes a deep breath and jumps from his chair. Unfortunately landing on his head and now in the hospital mending a small head injury)