The story so far....

Dear Bloggers,

Its been ahwile. My dedication to write..hmphhh probably at best be described as utterly inconsistent. As usual, the excuses are given..work, outstation, project, and and and..but somehow today I managed to gather up some quality time with me, my laptop, a stash of Mentos SourMix and some tunes blazing through this microscopic speaker of my feeble handphone, since it happens to be that my laptop speakers went bonkers. Note to friends, an outdated iPOD for a birthday present would be nice! (Hint!Hint!).

You know the 'ol saying of the elders, in faith in God, and thou shall prevail. Well, God has been very kind to me lately. The decision to buy my house was, kinda impulsive. I wasnt like going around scouting for places, compiling brochures, cross-referencing every details of loans, MRTA offers with location, price and affordability. Nope...it was kinda..damn, the wedding funds there, but errr..no girl..so..hmmmm, change my ride? Yeah kinda did that modified Honda Bullet thingy to catch some action, which was blurgh..and at minimum some action by minah rempits..that never prevailed. So, decisions, decision. Hot ride or your own pad?

Then it hit me, what if get the pad, paint the walls psychedelic pink, install rotating bed, mirrorball on the ceilings and smog the place with Mojo incense, then get the hot ride! Yup. Seems like a good plan. So a houselah. Decision decided.

So off thee went, into the Batmobile, breezing through LDP arriving at Taipan at which I approached Sime UEP. Called up a friend and ask for a walkthrough of the current existing projects that were going on. Sime UEP has custody of good locations, so it was an obvious choice for me to look there first for options. Apart for some additional incentives for staff purchase, the property appreciation for Ara Damansara and Putra Heights was far above 20%. Got hold of a list of available good units and off I was to view them.

So, brought 'lil sis along for the ride, looking at the houses along Putra heights and Ara Damansara. As the available, and affordable Ara lots were not attractive, we whisked ourselves to the far reaches of USJ, and set foot on Putra Heights. Browse through Laman Putra untill, ever so cooly my sister said, " Oh my God, Cantiknyeee!!!". At which my response was ok, take foto and show Dad.

Back home, showed Dad the brochure that entailed the layout of that particular unit, some fotos to get a better picture, at which Dad turns around and tells me, " How much am I willing to spend?". To which my reply was the whole wedding funds. An eyebrow was raised..proceeded by a grin. At this point, he was looking at that units largest build up size. That particular size had a nice guest room; which is obviously for him. He pointed out that when he started in life, he was scraping the barrel to sustain his income with family and house. So, looking sharply at me, why should I suffer less!

So, it was set. I went to Sime UEP, plonked in the deposite and there you go. Bought the house. As of to date not only did it take my wedding funds to get through the first payment, but totally exhausted the EPF account 2 and my fixed savings. Not to mention my current savings account was dried up...left barren like an empty well. To sustain myself, had to go through some tough times asking Dad for money to pay the toll and petrol..malunye!

But, so has it, just when I thought I had to brave the winter, in comes a memo from HR confirming the profit sharing from Conti global. So, as you know it a certain bonus would be paid out this month for the company's international profit! Whoahoooh! Alhamdulillah. God has ways to surprise you sometimes.

Which comes to a point, a man does not choose his destiny, he tries his best in life until finally his destiny appears before him. So, thats the new motto. The new vision. The new philosophy. As we near ourselves to the end of 2007, I can only mention the highlight of this year as much:

• Acat and Juan got married. All praise to God for finding my best bud happiness
• My cuz Weween's amazing wedding..best wedding event so far
• Bought the house. Bought the love shack.
• Acat being a dad for the first time.

So, being that I wouldnt know till when I would be able to write again, I wish all bloggers, Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha, Happy Christmas Holidays and a smashing good year.

P.S. Sorry Juan. Didn't had it in me to talk bad about women. Who am I to say or judge people especially to the companion and equal of men.

This is the house that 'Jack' built

Dear Readers,

Aha! So just to update to you guys I am officially the owner of Lot no 42, Jalan Putra Indah, Putra Heights. Tis, ladies and gents, is my humble abode. I bought this house after Raya. It was, to some extent based on some frustration as well as a certain decision I decided I should take should I end up at 30 and single.

Ok, I'm not yet 30, but 28 going on to 29! I have saved up some money for a grand wedding, but alas a promise of granduer doesn't seem to attract ladies of this yore..I guess. So to Hell with them (for the moment) and I welcome this latest offerring (semua berkat rezeki datang dari Tuhan, kan?) with open arms. Alhamdulillah.
I have to admit that its kinda big even for guys that are just starting a family. Selalunye a simple 20 x 70 or 24 x 70 dah kire cukuplah, but I seem to push the envelope by purchasing a 29 x 75 size home! Tah ape nak buat with all that space..God knows. Actually there was a few options before this house, but the most important choice was that Dad was comfortable with the house. He had the last say. He would be an integral part of this house, so his comfort does come up as top priority in the decision factor.

As usual, the temptation of decorating memanglah teramat sangat. Gone are the car magazines, in come the interior design journals. I have been salivating over Pottery Barn catalogues on the bed and on the 'stool'. Nasib baik my cousin is an interior decorator, boleh mintak tips. So now I have a new obsession; taking photos of places and friends houses if I find some ideas that they have done tickles my fancy. Nasib baik dah upgrade memory card handfon! Just recently spent last Saturday with Acat and Juan, in which I asked Juan what was the colour of her cream coloured wall! Ideas, beb!

This house also managed to open up a new family routine in which my sisters demand that we try to meet up every weekend to discuss of this house punye decoration. Theres 2 reasons for this:

1. My eldest Nadya has also purchased a house, so throwing ideas around togather to work out the best solutions for each others property.
2. Should I still be single in the next 5 years.. then my house hold 2 purposes as a meeting/gathering/party location or as a romantic weekend excursion for my eldest should she want to get a way from it all. Applies too for little sis but she's got to get married first!

So, basically the theme is very cozy and very sexy as well. Hmm will go well with the 'player' ambience I was suggesting. Kire 'lovenest'lah! Haha. But sorry for my fellow bloggers there is a certain rental fee that I will be charging should you require such opportunities.

Most recently Raya came in and out so quickly. Nothing special happened. The normal sembahyang raya, visit kubur Arwah Mak, then off to big sis for the family foto. Which reminds me, the foto above showed the dangers of eating too much lemang Pak Ali..bloated siut. (or memang I have put on weight).

Oh ya, and to top the Raya event, nothing is complete without visiting my extended family, Acat's family. Here we have a foto of myself and the Rafali's. Hehe, dats a cute pic of Juan though!

Right, seems that the excitement of having a house and an empty canvas to decorate happens to engulf my available free time. I hope I am not boring you guys with future post regarding decorative decisions and all. Hehe..my own Pad! Whoahhh! Kire tis would be the only thing I could blog about memandangkan my savings are up to zero since I dish it all out on the house. So my finances need to be strictly monitored as well as some carefree/careless lifestyle must be changed. and ohya..the wedding funds have been sacrificed so potential dates..I guess a cozy stall would have to do..sorry.

Right..till the next post, all the best ya'll and live life to the fullest.

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Hey, y'all! Firstly, a million appologise for not updating. Been really cought up with many things, both work and personal stuff, but hey! I'm here so...whats been happening? Lets start by saying thanks Acat for that coral pink shirt you left at my house few years ago, coz it kinda save me some time to buy a shirt for one of my trips to Slovakia. The photo you see before you introduces the drivers of Continental Sime Tyres!

So, point in question..I really need to hang out with my ol pals again! Hari-hari melepak ngan orang tua-tua nih..ends up I'm starting to refer to stuff by saying, "..during my time". Right preludes me to my point about facebook. Yes. I know much has been said and yadda yadaa but I just can't help but be totally and utterly addicted to it. To prove a point, heres my schedule in Lotus Notes:

• 8am to 8.30am - Check gmail, superpoke my frends, give a pressie to fren and update
• 10.30 - 11.00 - (X Me) at least somebody. Check out whats new.
• 12.45 - 1pm - At least write on someones wall
• 4.45 - 5pm - Play bubblewrap to destress and re-take an IQ test

Yes, and I quite stick to this schedule tightly..hehe. Ah well the life. Anyways, whats more important is that you get to check on what your other pals have been doin. Ok, heres a few interesting details:

• Elina Ismail (KTJ) was working with KLUE mag and now in Australia with Womens Weekly. Current her celebrity facebook frens include Daphne Iking, Hannah Tan, Marion Counter, Afdlin Shauki and Carmen Soo. So she my fren when rase gatal-gatal to hang out with the celebs.
• Johan Ting (KTJ) ditch a job as a software designer and enrolled into Berklee Music Inst London, and passed with flying colours. Currently performing at High Street clubs in London, frens with Colyn Bailey Ray and will be opening an acoustic concert featuring Take That. My pal if I want to expand my music horizons.
• Izlyn Ramli (KTJ) sister to my best mate in college, Izmet, is accountant-cum-singer who is frens with Amir Yusoff, Reza Salleh, Shaun Ghazi and Zainal Abidin. My pal for when I'm in need of tips when need to perform, for whatever reasons.
• Iju (Ezura) know her through my best pal Acat. At the moment current the best person to hook me up with chicks coz thats what she has nesttled in her quarters of friends.
• And Acat...Best Pal Ever!!!!

In short what can I say. I mean finding time to blog..then time to SuperPoke, werewolf bite and finish things off by totally obliterate my fellow frens pirates..thats the life.

I got something else to share with you guys but for the time being I'm a bit exhausted from trying to make this blog template work. Hope you like it and will update about my new 'baby' soon. Till then...bye!

Its times like these that you need a hug

Dear Blog/Bloggers,

I write to you in hope that I can find sanctuary from this whirlwind of events that has happened to me since 6 months ago. Choices are always there. And though I often mention of choices from a context of relationships, I falter before you as I must confess the inner conflict in my soul stems from decisions that I have to do for the sake of being competitive.

Yes, its those sad stories again of work. Do I have a life? People always seem to say this when all that gets me riled up is when I mention work. I guess people fail to understand my situation. I am directly in charge of 185 workers. And that was put to test 6 months ago.

I now can freely speak about this as last Monday, 30.07.2007 marked the final day of our retrenchment exercise. Yes you heard me right. It was my second retrenchment exercise. However this time the numbers were bigger. Total plant was effected and I was called in 6 months ago to re-evaluate the manufacturing output efficiency. Sorry to say that we are not up to mark.

Funny thing was, whislt I was spending time with the IR lawyers, I found some interesting cases. Then studies done by the NPE showed that across the board, through all comman industries we have a common problem...malaise.

NOT Malays, mind you..but the malaise attitude..that unfortunately, statistically corresponds strongly to our Malays. Short snippet.the old management did a big blunder with the union to allow the following; 80% output within actual working time and balance 20% remainder output within 4 hrs overtime. Thats a cognitive parody as capacity productive charts are based on the fact that output is counted within identified losses. That means, in 8 hours a shift, 15% losses is the current standard of losses due to set-up times, breakdowns, maintenance, breaks and material losses. That means, we dont blindly give an output figure to a worker. In actuality, output is counted after considering that 15% productivity deficit. However, rather than argue that additional output sans 100% be remunerated according to a higher multiplying scale, my workers argue to have money replaced by time.

This means, its not more money within working time, but rather more rest time to make same amount of money! More time to do WHAT! So to all wives/girlfriends out there, your lazy husbands are purposely defending their right to go back home late under the pretext of ade kerja..thats bullshit.

I just completed few months back this Performance Base Incentive scheme (PBI) that rewards the employee base on his output efficiency. That literally means, within his working time if he/she produces a minimal 5% additional output he will be rewarded very handsomely. So, he can go back with extra cash in the pocket, on time, pick up the kids, set the table, takes care of the dishes, shower, put on some cologne, light some candles then make amazing love to your wife!

But no..not our workers. We want more time. To do what? Smoke! So, thats general malaise for you. Funny, this problem is across the board. Toyota Malaysia is having similar problems as well as SmithKline Sterling and Beecham! Jadi not realli that badlah for me.

But here's an interesting snippet..NPE statistics backed by international surveys shows that the boon of the electronic industry in Malaysia dulu was due to a simple fact that our FEMALE employees (minah Karen) were more proficient! Yup. I am not kidding you. Well, that can be seen clearly by the fact that in Kelantan, most businesses are run by ladies. The most important fact was our female operators have the patience and tenacity to look into their everyday life at work and initiate improvements.

Ok, hang on. Dah wander jauh dah. OK. So total plant had 126 variable operators and fixed management retrenched. Dalam hati sedih, but one part rase macam they deserve it. I just have to gulp it down I guess. The usual happened; people callin in with their I ade family lah, wife to take care lah and, and and...Had to tahan and stick to the plan.

This retrenchment exercise was different though. 80% of the task was to restructure the factory for efficiency, but the remaining 20% was to remove benchwarmers. So, we were playing that fine line of sticking to the basic of LIFO (last in first out) and target termination. Kenapalah IR court tak banyak awek. Tulah awek-awek law nih. Life is not all Ally McBeal divorce case ok. There's more to law than to settle marriage problems. Tu dia, satu department semua org tua nuh!

I have mix feelings. When I was picked to be part of the restructuring team, I was excited and thrill. But as the months pass, frustration and anger over our countrymen's attitudes and fear that my team's proposed structure might fail!

The decision is made. Stick with it to the end Ahmad. Its times like this.. I just wished I had an arm around me, and a sweet caress from a cheek, as I hear a whisper from a sweat voice saying, "Sayang you know what? Today at work....." A short diversion from my beloved telling me of her qualms in life. Boy would that not take away all this burden.

Now this I call a wedding!

Bridal Day

This bridal day with gold I will enchain,
And wears its hours like rubies on my heart,
That you and I from Love may never part
While still these jewelled monument remain.
These monuments, wrought out of hours, contain
The wound inflicted on me by Love's dart
That stung with such intolerable smart,
Until today we vanquished Times and Pain.

And now I wear this crimson diadem
Where late my heart I did incarnadine
With open wounds in passionate array,
Unhealed until your eyes looked down at them,
And crystallized their sanguine drops to shine
In captured moments of our bridal day


Tis said, marriages is a harmony of life. I believe this entirely. To some, a wedding has many elements that make it magic. Some maybe the company, a special song, or even a heartwarming massage from the father-of-the-bride. Whatever forms it takes, nothing can be as magical as moments that come from the heart. If it could, I wish to post all 299 photos of my cousins wedding but alas, blogspot can only muster as much.

The wedding was made simple, with all the cousins chipping in here and there. Well, thats my Johor family in a nutshell. What started as suppose to be simple..became an onslought of ideas that transform the normal wedding into a magical night that ended with a bang! There was cheeky ber-pantun that was fused in rap, the brothers telling of their story in a song, the brilliantly made love dedication video presentations..and the finale of letting your hair down to the BAND.

Most wedding photos I see from blogs tend to be very stoic..very regimented. Its like everybody is trying to control handsome and macho. Well, thats keluarga Ungku Salmah for you. Its all fun and happiness and joy is a must. So to you readers I present you these captured moments..a symbol of joy in a family unbashfull and unashame to share love in the world.

-Photos courtesy of AR Production. Recommend to those in search of a sharp eye!

If I could be good.

Though there are as many as I can recall,
They seem to be not many enough that I should remember.

I often speak of what I have done,
Though not see what might have been undone,

And seems to me the story so far
Is that for this moment, we seem cought up by far
Of speaking in tongues drench in the obscenity
That we seem to need to speak in languid poetry!!!

Ok, geng. Apasal lah tetiba semua org terase mcm nak kena expresi diri anda dlm sajak dan syair. The past 18 blog post I have been reading, semua berbentuk puisi nan indah. Nih yang dah tercabar nih!

Anyways, not having anything special to report. The blogger I was referring to in my last post was MZ Ayam. She lost her father. I hope we have said a little prayer for those whom have left us.

In that respect, the topic I mentioned..If I could be good, dont we think that we feel too much that we have done as much to be as good? In self reflection, in self pity, we might remorse at our short comings. The sarcastics amongst us will stomp you and say get up and do something about it.

Then the optimistics would make the pessimist feel, ewww kau ingat kau tu hebat/baik sangat ke?

Oh well..let it be let it be. I hope the rest of the readers will bare with my senseless rants for awhile as I have troubles posting my cousins wedding photos and that is annoying me immensly

To where we return to

To my Muslim readers, I wish to implore that we take time, for awhile to recite Al-Fatihah for the father of one of our bloggers, whom past away early morning, the 25th June 2007.

At times like these, it made me remember a recital we used to do when we were at school.

Tuhan ku
Aku tidak layak
Untuk syurga Mu
Tetapi aku juga tidak sanggup menanggung
Siksa neraka Mu
Oleh itu kurniakanlah
Ke ampunan Mu
Ampunkanlah dosaku
Sesungguhnya engkaulah pengampun
Dosa-dosa besar

Moga diberkati jenazah. Al-Fatihah

Iqra'. Read. Baca. Apasalah nye..

Lately, I have been reading through some of other blogs out there and it comes to my attention, how easily distructive blogging can be. I am a proponent to freedom of speech and the freedom of the press, however, with great power comes great responsibilities.

What I am getting at is how we freely express our opinions ( me included ) without carefull thought of what the ramifications might be. Ok, fine its our blog. We have right to say what we want and how we want, but then, on occurrences of our lives takpe kot.

Its when we hit certain issues, I feel a little bit of studying on what we nak cakap must be there. Topic in question, there were recent posts in blogs out there mentioning about the Lina Joy case. So many opinions, tapi what cought my eye is how complacent we have become. The funny part is, we base our post on inferred feels and thoughts, rather than facts. Ironic, when the actual situation is right there in the papers.

Posts have been written about the freedom of ones person to pick their religion. Fine by me. Then they question why cant a convert re-convert? Good question. Then it goes to the issue about a simple IC card rectification. Simple too. Then it continues why is Islam unfair? And specifically how our country's constitution deals with this! Ok, back off awhile. Read. The court demands a baptism cetificate or proof of the conversion which the counsellors failed to provide. So the petition of the court was to provide the proof of conversion or else petition to change the IC nullified.

Yg kite pi skewed sampai kata Muslims are hostile in their attempts to retain the populous, cmon man, mcmlah org Islam kat M'sia nih bagus pun. Segelintir je. But what needs to be highlighted, from my point of view, is our view of religion. Ur beliefs should not be the flavour of the month. That to me is a big warning to all new Muallafs out there. Sad thing is I much enjoy the company of Muallafs, as they take more patience and efforts to understand their religion. Majority of them make better Muslims then us. Ok, small percentage of them convert for the sake of nuptial traditions, tapi tu yang salah tuh.


But think about it, once procured, presented evidence, under civil law the court will recognise. This is what Lina Joy is not able to produce and this is what and why some people in the right mind are pissed off. Religion is not an undergarment you put on and take off as when you please.

There are bad Muslims, there are good Muslims. There are bad Buddhist, and there are good Buddhist, there are good Christians and there are bad Christians. We dont hate Jews, cos their are good people we hate Zionist. So, look at the issue. Take it as the case dictates it and the answer is clear.


Lastly, Malaysia is a very forgiving country. As skewed as most Malays in this country are, pls let me straighten some facts. Tak pernah ke kite tanya how difficult it is to maintain a multi-racial multi-ethnic society? Susah siut. And the last thing I want to hear from anyone is their 'honest' opinions of Bumiputra rights. Ade sampai org suggest kite nih conducting pseudo-apartheid principals.

Fact. We have 2 Commissioners report for our constitution, one is the Cobbald Commission, the other the Riggs Commission. What is important, why 2 commissions were deployed was to settle Tunku Abdul Rahman's defiance to accept the Chinese and Indian community. Yes, the initial plan was to allow safe passage of the Chinese back to China and the Indians back to India. The East India Company, then sanction by Lord Ruford was under discussion over the cost for the relocation. There was no citizenship for these races. They are under contract employment from respective employer. However, this is to underline the majority Chinese and Indian community brought here under this contract, not already estiblished Chinese and Indians who came and resided since zaman kesultanan Melayu Melaka.

So this number was 98 thousand chinese and 36 thousand Indians. For 5 days Tun Tan Cheng Lock and Tun Sambathan fought with Tunku to change his mind. Somehow, at the last minute, Lord Ruford declared that change of policies from the Tories at England that this relocation will not be borne by EIC, and the cost must be borne by Malaya. So, it was agreed then, Tunku, Tan Cheng Lok and Sambathan that these people will be retained..as citizens of Malaya.

PROVIDED..the rights of Bumiputra was set. This to protect the separation of social demographics at the moment where the Chinese was heavily involved in trading and the Indians in agriculture. The Malays were in between. Majority in small self-preserving traditional industries, and some prominent numbers in administration. The agreement was, that rights of Bumiputra for land ownership, education and rest that I forgot to detail will be endorse by the constitution in return for 134 thousand citizenship delivered overnight. 134 CITIZENSHIP OVERNIGHT! An unprecedented event even till now!!!

Fast forward. Future. Chinese have majority market control, Indians slowly picking up and filling gaps where there are and the Malays? Tuh yg sedihnye, dah bagi head start and what do we do? We stummer and bungle the advantage. Now 50 years of independence and still bumi wealth is at 20% index. OK. So for the Chinese, you got very rich..do we obstruct you or send you to the gallows like Thaksin? No we celebrate. Give you Dato' ship for God sake!. We set up Chinese schools, Indian schools for your liking. The right to land and ownership.

For the religian, we dont topple down your big Statue of Buddha in Penang, or even Batu Caves. We let the Churches bell ring. We allow big locations for Churches. We provide everything. Hey compare that with abroad! Take England for example. Goddammit what have we learned from our studies abroad? Mosques are not allowed to have high minarets. There will not be a broadcast of adzan at all. And the construction of a mosque, if not blending to town councel's architecture mode, is not allowed. So siapa oppress siapa nih?

We are so forgiving and yet they forget. Jangan kata Melayu lupa, yang lain lupa. And that is what I want to get through. We will be celebrating our new independence. We are Malaysians, we so claim. Bahasa Malayu is the national language so learn it.

In conclusion, correct me if I'm wronglah. About the history of Bumiputra, you've learned it at form 4, just malas nak ingat kot. Those who want to know detail, grab a copy of MALAYA: AN ANTHOLOGY by Tan Sri Khalid Jamaluddin written in 1972 or better still read Riggs Commission report itself at the National Archives!

Facts people facts. We as bloggers have an audience. This audience, whoever they may be will some way or rather take our insights seriously. Imagine the power of opinions we have? Thats why we talk of the power of the internet. Yes. It is more than a tool for getting dates or playing games. Its a cyberspace where in its ether our thoughts can jump out and reach someone.

I'm not free from flaws too. This is where my fellow bloggers comment mean a lot. I have cherish each of your thoughts and views. So, I promise to give mine with deep thought. Tis my promise!

P/S: This post is a dual frustration of the state of the world and the fact that writer's original reasons for posting was to describe his holidays at Johor, but fell short as the wedding photos cannot load!!!

Save the last dance for me

Its been a long over due post, at last found some space to breath, thus here I am. The much needed exhale was truly worth it. Lots of goings on at the factory especially with the upcoming financial review.

Anyways, buddy Acat succesfully tied the knot. Syabas! Kepada Depa. Moga kebahagian berkekalan sampai ke anak cucu cicit. I hope Juan doesnt mind my short berangan at her reception approching her house, sebab jalan atas red carpet! Berangan sat mcm selebriti. It might be in the video! Haha. Also, got the opportunity to meet up with Zeeda and her hubby Jimmy. For those interested in procuring the Tom Abg Saufi 'ish kebaya, yup Zeeda looked hot in it.

The reception kat Acat's place saw me being introduce to Azlan's gfren. Ask the million $$$ question, "Where/how didja guys meet?" Upon which the answer was, "We met while white water rafting". Ok. So I need to be more adventurous. But not bad Azlan. Met up with Saiful and his 2 munchkins. Kept on brainwashing his son by consistently referring to him as 'Dr Shafie' You got to admit, that name has Doctor all written over it.

A few days after that saw me and Zeeda meeting up to watch Shrek 3. Kinda felt it was a set up mtg for me to be formally introduce to Heydee. It was a pleasent evening, but Shrek, unfortunately suffered from 2nd half 'aku-dah-takde-idea-lagi-nak-continue' pace. But all in all a simple light and easy film. A great way to unwind from the busy days at the factory.

The rest of the weeks were basically pre-vacation work. Cousin's wedding in Johor on the 2nd June, so thinking of bring my lil sis to Singapore for a holiday at the same time have her virgin passport legally 'fucked'. That all togather is another story that credits a separate post. I'll get on it soon as I get some photos from the wedding photographer. The guys a frend of mine at Uni, and he's really good at taking photos. Perused through some previews on his laptop on the last day, and they were brilliant!

Right. Thats whats been happening. Loads of story regarding the cousin's wedding. Also lots of photos and maybe if possible I might post a video of me jamming with the 7 piece band!

One might say (in my case nearly everyone) , "Tak teringin ke Mat!" It would be a lie to say no. Surprisingly, being surrounded by the immense love atmosphere, I felt different. I felt liberated in the feeling that, hey here we have people who love each other and want to spend their life with each other. Thats a bold move. Truth be told, I was feeling nervous when Acat was about to lafaz nikah. It hit me then, how much convince you must be to say those words. Takes courage man! I deal with workers, and some of them will need to be straightened out once and awhile. Its true, the trick to know a person's conviction is through their eyes, their posture and body language and voice intonation. Having that experience, being in that congregation of people, surrounding my frend and hear him say, without any doubt that he take in him the responsibilities of care for life for this person..is a powerful and emotional presence. Like how good orators are able to feed into the emotions of an audience, spoken words from the heart, do touch the heart of another.

One reasons why I would drive far away to Masjid Tabung haji at Kelana Jaya just to catch khutbah Jumaat, coz you might get rogue imams that speak of their minds with passion. Tak tidur beb!

Kesimpulannye, If i were to rush into things now, I would be sitting on that cushion facing the wali and going.."Ya Allah! am I doing the right thing?" Doubt is a very hard pill to swallow, and trust me, working with Germans, where its all facts and figures, once they pull the,"So what would you be forecasting then?" line on you, you would actually stummer if you pull a number from the sky. After several attempts of failing bullshits (thankfully as I learned from it), it trained me to be on song with what you do. Know your stuff, and conviction will follow.

So, back to the cushion, amidst a backdrop of people, intently peering their ears on every breath you would muster for that conviction...guys at this moment I donno what I would do. Worst thing..probably lompat and lari macam roadrunner kot!

Oleh itu, kesudahannye, I think we have to let things evolve or happen naturally. I believe in qada dan qadar. Eventually Yang Esa will somehow drop a ladies stuff whislt walking down an aisle somwhere at Mutiara Damansara, and I just happen to have lightning reflexes'lah kan to catch the fallen objects. Next thing you know, tuuu dia. Aku jatuh cinta.

Thanx for those concerns and set ups. I must say you guys have nice frends. But I guess belum jodoh lagi. And from the events that took place recently, I feel that I'd rather be madly in love with a person, rather than chase a good financial and family plan. Who knows, I might capture the heart of a rich tycoons daughter, thus making early marriage advantages nullified becouse I'd be filthy rich! Hahahahahaha

Right till later guys. Ciou!

Lamanye ku menghilang..

Whoah! Susah giler dis couple if days nak find time to write. Worst things though is the fact that when you have the time, like now, punyelah banyak benda nak ditulis. Hehe. Patience Ahmad, patience.

Acat's wedding is coming, in a matter of weeks. Thinking nak buat stag night, tapi tak tahu ape nak buat yet. The temptation of renting whores does come to mind, but I think fornication before his wedding is not on my best bud's interest.

Then theres disco. You know what? I might sound lame to yuppies out there, but last time I was in a disco was at uni and that was under the pretext of me being employed as a technician installing all the peripherals. Senang cakap, kat M'sia nih, last time was I went at this salsa club belakang bukit bintang. Did realli enjoyed myself.

Ok. Dancing. Heheh. Guys if you knew me and Acat, that would be the last thing we will ever able to muster the courage to do. Dont get me wrong, goofing around is our forte', but grooving to beats ala' Usher or Justine T memang jauh skali. Then again, its a stag night! Shouldnt write off all possible idiotic ideas, kan?

Yo! Got this email from this girl. Hehe. Answers from when I tried to court her. Haha. Laugh on this. Amongst her reasons for rejection:

1) You're a realli nice guy
2) I feel I'm not the right one for you
3) There's things about me you dont know

Oh! Cmon! Is that the best you can do? Its like the 3 basic answers in the 10 ways to lose a guy manual. Cmon! Women! Be creative. Which comes to my point actualli. To the female of the species within my group, what lines have you guys used? Hehe. Need to update myself to be with the times. Makes it easy to leave it by when it comes.

Oh man! I got like loads of stuff yg I nak cerita tapi kan...memandangkan there is ...this much of space and attention a reader can ingest dalam sesingkat masa, I rasa keep it short and simple for now.

Right. So, off I go to organise the stag night. Any offers to be female strippers?

Through the mirror..

A short story by Reflections.

Tis once said, on a warm night, even owls stuck by their dens. And on that said night, stood two hearts. Two souls. One with a desire for the other..and the other, a desire for neither. Astute stood the gentleman with his eyes, dark-brown oak poppets they seem, staring deeply into the eyes of his beloved.

"Would you be mine?", he says. The innocence of her green eyes tell nothing of her heart, for what holds within her, she holds not to him.

"I am not to be with you", she answers.

"My heart holds for another", she continues

"And so I must depart, with me and my heart", she ends

Broken, torn, like death by knives, the stabbing pain will not stop. He lets her go, not for a second due to acceptance, but the pain..the heavy pain of a thousands blades tucking themselves into his coarse skin.

"My beloved!?", is all he can muster, through a feint whisper.

"tip tap tip tap tip tap..", her heels echoes. He looks upon and sees her, moving ever so slowly, away from him. From sight, slowly to sound, and slowly ...gone.

The world can be cruel, but equally for reasons. For she felt the feeling of the freedom from all burden. Its one thing to live a lie for so long, and one thing to lose sight of how far you have gone. Thus, those steps she makes, echo more and more from the path. A path from a place, she will never return. Learn, she has from the consequences of choice. When such choice was to accept what comes and make do with most of it.

The world can be cruel, but equally for reasons. For left, he was in pain and agony. How a heart was given then squashed to bits. The gentleman crouched down. Unable to stand. Tis the power of a heartbreak, a womens doing.

But so for reaons, we must move on. And so for this reasons, such choice was born. A choice was made, and that what she chose..was to leave her husband, and to the warmth of her lover's abode. Its no sense in cheating your heart forever. Happiness cant be bought, made ..it just can never..

But so for reasons, we must move on. And so for this reasons, the pain. Not the view of her slow but increasing distance, not even her actions that leave the gentleman's heart ripped open. NOt even the knowledge that all her love was just lies. And not even the feeling of the hope that just died.

For what is said, and done has consequences. And though the pain is unbearable, it stems more deeper than the heart. For within each man, gentleman or miser, cobbler or doctor, statesman and even officer..lies a demon within.

And the pain, of a thousands knives are but a mere knife that punctured the right side liver.

"How could this be so?" muttured the gentleman

Firmly he held up the gleaming dagger. Placed, it was in his right jacket pocket. He looked at it and smile at the sight of his blood.

"A mistake. It was a mistake to bend down. It was a mistake", said the gentleman.

Tis once said, on a warm night, even owls stuck by their dens. And on this night, stood two souls. One for the desire of the other's heart..and the other..neither. For stood the gentleman, and lay the women he loved. And to all to remmember, the heat of September..when in such night, stood a man, and a women he murdered.

New found frends

To all readers out there, current, future and the faithfull, I must say that I havent been taking this blog seriously till now. I started blogging, 'bout 2 years ago as I was amusing myself with Acats blog whislt staying up at 4 am doing a breakdown. Had a few hours as I wait for the welder to touch up the leaking rotor, so I perused his site, and found out wat the fuss was about blogging.

The best part was looking up to his list of other blogs that he linked. This thus gives access to other blogs with equally interesting post, that rant and ponder on things as obscure as my little fat kitten to .. "the day I tried to live". Thought to myself..this aint bad.

So, filled up the first entry. Customarily the server agent welcomes every blogger. But due to lack of attention really did not thought through this blogging methods..thus making my blog quite standard. But of all things, I did not know how to promote it.

So, few weeks ago, got Acat to teach me how to set up links. That wud probably be the best thing I've done so far. As a result..(and through Acats personal promoting) I have some new frends.

Je'vu pre'sence..mdm Zeeda and mdm Voice. Thanks for the comments and your views. This brings to mind a line from my first entry, " blogs are written accounts of ourselves taking experiences of trampling over piles of shit, then telling others to beware"

Very much appreciate that. So, I guess from here is trying to update this blog. Something, fortunately at this time and juncture, I have time to spare.

Will try my best to inform, amuse and tickle. Right. Got a good one for you guys. Will update this soon...till then Arrividerci

Drawing the line

I perceive myself as lost and unlucky. That, from my point of view. Though, some, the rest who see me, they say I'm lucky , blessed and poignantly qouted as, "Lu ada onglah!"

They might have a point. But what point is it? Frankly, I do realise now how some people can just leave their comfortable and rewarding corporate job for something totally out of the box. Passion has got a lot to do with it. Passion for what you are doing.

For the sake of keeping into perspective, I will just stick to the main topic of me writing this post..my love for music. Just to update everyone..I have finally found a group of mates who have met all my expectations when forming a band. The bassist is adaptable, with many styles to boot. The most prized possession..Idi, the drummer. Brilliant in every way. My sister, Nadya who brings the jazz to the sounds and my ever faithfull buddy Acat, who is the third heat.

To me this group is perfect. However..they are some complications. Idi, the prize..lives in Melaka and commutes every weekend just to jam with us. My sis nadya, though has good vocal articulation lacks the energy and volume to convey the demands of rock music. That plus her waivering stamina I fear will not sustain a 45 min gig. And last but not least.. my buddy Acat, who tries his best to help me within his tight schedule.

Then there is the impending possibility of my sis moving up to Kampar, Perak as UTAR will be positioned there. This happens to be the best employer my sister has had and her future is good in this university. She deserves the best

Again..just when things get right..life throws you a curve ball and ur back to square one. The future of this band seems bleak.

But thats it? Maybe I am suppose to make a choice. Maybe this band thing is futile. A weak attempt at this moment to re-kindle the sparkle of life I once had. And this made me realise.. I've not moved on, in life at all.

My career, though to some may look illustrious, is actually me being very lucky and blessed by The Almighty. Just happen to be around a place where I stand out and the ol managemnt are looking for young blood. Place me beside my ol frends at collage or uni, and I would be a puny minute dot amongst the shine of their brilliance.

And what do I have to be proud for since I have earned honest money? Most of it wasted on cars and boy toys and women and non of which has been spent on charity. The worst is I lack the direction for charity. Most of the time, charity doesnt involve much money..just your time and attention. Something I do not do.

I'm jealous of my buddy Acat. Got a babe for a fiance'. Still got his mom and the best makes the best of his time with charity. People like his ex-wife do not deserve even an iota of his self.

Which comes to my point. I have to accept the fact..my buddy has moved on. He has got a reason to live more than ever now. Love in his life, he has found. As of me? Thats where the music comes in. The reason, the part where I can just let go and fall in an embrace of melodies and chorus.

The funny things is, I can see my selfish side turn up more than ever. I want the band to stick on. I want this magical music experiance to keep on forever. But where do I draw that deviding line between what can happen..and what will happen?

Nothing is forever. A line has to be drawn, one day..

As I was passing...

Amongst a beautifull pattern
Lays line lost in weave
No one knows of how it happens
But its beauty in geometry

Along the waves that run to shore
Washes peebles that cast their beads
From motion to still, they randomly graze
But form a beautiful line of embedded scale

As I was passing by work today
I saw from far the pile of traffic
Some lines form inverted structures from vertical
Some grains of asphalt curved according to path
Some movements of the sky, as the morning breaks through Dawn's clouds

Beauty is a sight to behold, even in mundane objects
Anything and everything is beautiful
Just needs time to appreciate what you've got..and what you dont have
As I was passing...

Seeking solance.

My, my. Its 2007. What have we got to offer, ey? Nothings much that is as much as much there is that makes for all there is. What can I say anymore? Nothing any free mind can comprehend.

But then again, though stumble and fall, we pick up the pieces, we rise with whatever possesed and what might we have, to go again and fall back to the ground as fate dictates it. Do I make any sense? Shud I make sense? The more we make sense of things in our lives, the more confuse we get when the judgement we set turns wrong, fall back again we become to the beginning of the chapter...from which we fell.

But thats life innit. Kinda like a qoute this mua'alaf said in the documentary on Hajj by National Geographic.." The reason we struggle and the temptations and test of the hajj, just simply test us that though we have astrayed, and left far away from the path, we come back, come crawling back on our hands and knees and look up to The Exalted, "

Best interpretation of life..for me. Yup we make mistakes. We learn from them. But what we seldom have is the strength to accept the consequences. I guess thats one part of that our elders forget to tell us when we are re-assured that its ok to make mistakes. My, my the elders.

Learning from mistakes and accepting the consequence are as different as apples and oranges. Its ok to say, "I'm sorry I drove so fast and bashed into your wife who was just standing waiting for the bus. I'm sorry. I was drunk". Yup learned your lesson. Now how was that jailed rape as you were left spending 5 years for 3rd degree manslaughter! Bit of a sore in the ass innit!

Oh why not the classic, sorry forgot the condom, I was drunk with passion but by the way I'm not looking for commitment, so ... you'll be alrite with that baby? Though in this circumstances I have to say many women out there are strong enuff to raise a kid on her own. Which in the end makes them admirable that they are the perfect picture of learning from a big mistake, accepting fate and living through the consequences. In the end..the joy of having someone who genuinely loves you makes up for all that was (admit guys we can only love our spouses to a certain extent innit!)

So, not trying to make a statement. Just saying, that I genuinely want to be frends with you ppl out there. In particular for the female amongst us, some I fancy. Pls feel free to test if I am boyfrend material, lover material (nak test drive my wedding tackle dulu ke..which comes highly recommended), or for the extreme nak terus kahwin ke... go ahead. If I dont make the cut, well its not fate then. But be assured that I will be a loyal frend.

But if you start testing frendship. To see the extent of a frendship. Just by setting fear factor challanges just to see how far I will go before I crack...AS A FREND! Than adios. So, appology accepted. I just dont want to see you again. Question to other bloggers, wouldnt you do the same?